Finally
by Kapapii
Summary: What should I do? I like Syaoran but I can't confess without ruining our friendship. Will this problem finally resolve itself? SxS


YO! I'm finally back... for a bit at least. If you haven't been at my profile then you wouldn't have read it yet (obviously) but just in case... i apologize a million... trillion times over for the horribly slow updates and there is no way to describe how unproud (is that even a word?) i am about it. i can't say if it will get any better tho i hope it will but i will do my best! here is my latest CCS fic and it may suck cuz its basically the beginning is added... then half of the middle was typed seperately from the beginning then half the end was written like 2 months ago and i just threw it all together and hoped it would turn out decent... and reread it over and over so im sorry if it doesn't make much sense and all i kno i have to work on writing oneshots XD but i hope you enjoy! before i upload any other stories XD also! not the best work ive done probably one of the not as good ones but please dont think assume this is how i write for every story... XD

**Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or the characters!**

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It was nine now and the sun had set a while back. I was standing in front of Syaoran wondering why he had stopped. He was looking at me with an unreadable expression. I looked away to avoid his stare. Hopefully he hadn't noticed how weird I'd been acting all day being bothered with what Touya had said.

**_________________**

A little after noon, I was down the stairs at the window waiting for Syaoran. I made sure my auburn hair was nice and straight without any knots. My emerald green eyes stared out onto the street, waiting for his familiar figure to come up the steps. The day before I had Syaoran promise to take me to the amusement park even though it was the middle of winter. I had my ways and as I expected, he listened and gave in. We've been close friends since elementary and once Syaoran even confessed to me. But I never replied and to this day I haven't replied. We became close friends and soon Syaoran seemed to forget ever confessing to me though my own feelings for him only deepened. Now that we're in high school, I'm sure that I'm still head over heels for him but I don't know if he still likes me. I was never sure if I should confess in fear that I would risk our perfect friendship. So I live each day with him just as close friends even though I constantly think of how it would be if I confessed to him.

"Kaijuu, waiting for that gaki?" Touya asked from behind me.

I turned and glared at him for calling me 'kaijuu' and Syaoran 'gaki'. "Yes, I am. We're going to the amusement park today."

"Oh, so you two finally going out?" he didn't sound mad or annoyed like he used to when I talked about Syaoran.

"We're not going out. We're just friends," even as I said this, I felt a little disappointed but I quickly shooed it away.

"Is that so," Touya shifted his weight and took a couple steps toward me, his arms still crossed above his chest. "I never would think I would be the one to say this but if it's that kid that you're going to go out with then I won't have to worry as much. I actually think it would be pretty nice for you two to get together. Even dad thinks so."

I stared at him, stunned. Touya, my overprotective brother, just gave me the okay to go out with Syaoran even though he always hated him. I knew that deep down I wanted to go out with Syaoran but that would risk our friendship and I'd rather friendship as our relationship than no relationship at all.

Just then, the door bell rang. It's shrill, clear call sent me flying to the door in seconds. I fumbled with the locks but finally managed to get the door open. On the other side, Syaoran stood there, smiling. His brown hair hung handsomely around his face bringing out his equally brown eyes from his slightly pale complexion. I smiled back giving him a brief hug before closing the door behind me. I pushed the thoughts of my feelings and relationship with Syaoran to the back of my head. Today was going to be fun without any unwanted thoughts.

**_________________**

So here we are, standing on the dark streets of the city about to go home. My plan to think of nothing but fun failed horribly. The moment we had a bit of silence, my mind had wandered off to what Touya had said in before I left causing me to think more and more of the 'what if's and 'could be's. For the whole time at the amusement park, I thought of nothing but the possibilities causing me to zone out and become frustrated with myself. Even now I was unsure and irritated. I looked up at Syaoran to find him in deep thought. It was silent with the occasional car passing by. All of a sudden, Syaoran's face lit up with an idea, his eyes met mine and a smile spread across his face.

"I want you to see something," he took my elbow, gently dragging me along.

I didn't refuse; he was too excited to listen to me anyway. I felt a smile start to spread across my face, the first real smile today. His sudden lift of spirit seemed to make me feel a little less irritated too. Staring at his expression, I wanted to giggle but held it in. He was so cute being so excited about something so small. "Where are we going?" I asked, allowing him to drag me along regardless.

"You'll see," he replied, his playful tone completely different from his usual seriousness.

I giggled as he led me through the streets of the dark city. If only he would show more excitement and openness once in awhile. The snow had stopped falling covering the ice that was once visible. There were a couple times that I stumbled or slipped on the hidden ice but he kept leading me forward. It was about fifteen minutes before he finally slowed down. I followed, slowing my pace to his. He turned to me, still holding my elbow.

"Okay, now close your eyes" he instructed and watched as I listened.

"Why do I have to close my eyes?" I inquired, confusion written on my face.

"Shh!" he said as I heard him step behind me.

I could imagine him with his smile, his steady steps crunching in the snow. I felt light, warm pressure over my eyes and I lifted my hands to try and take it off my face. My fingers came in contact with Syaoran's warm skin heating my own cold ones.

"Hey, no peeking until I say so," his voice warning yet playful.

I dropped my hands, embarrassed to have touched him. He took a step forward and I took it with him. Slowly, we made our way to his surprise. I could hear the slight crunch of snow underneath our shoes and the chilly air on my heated cheeks. Where was he taking me? At last, he stopped and I heard him step in front of me. I stood as still as possible, waiting for his next instructions.

"Okay," he started, "now open your eyes!"

Cautiously, I lifted my eyelids. A gasp escaped my lips and my eyes widened with excitement. It was beautiful! We were in the clearing of the park. I had passed this place everyday at least once but at this very moment it seemed so different. Coniferous trees made a small circle around us layered with untouched snow. The whole scene was exactly like the winter wonderland I've always dreamed of. Bright stars over our heads and a smooth blanket of snow beneath our feet, it seemed magical in its own way. There were only two street lamps on the sides and a bench but it didn't disturb the beautiful picture in front of us. Moving forward, I made my way past him, standing a little ways off from my regular position to gaze in awe of the scene in front of me.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, completely entranced.

I heard footsteps come up beside me but I didn't bother to turn. I wanted to make sure this picture was securely painted in my mind before the morning came where footprints would ruin the snow.

"Look," his voice was also just a whisper but it sounded extremely close to my ear. He placed a hand on my shoulder, his other hand pointing to the snow covered bench.

I followed his gaze to the bench where the light from the lamp illuminated the area. At first, I couldn't see what was so great about the bench until he made me shift a little to the side. Another gasp left me. I started making my way slowly to the side. It was magnificent! The snow on the bench glittered gently under the light. With each step I took, different parts would light up with small dots. It was as if a million tiny diamonds were imbedded into the snow. My eyes couldn't leave the sight, my smile growing wider by the minute. It was all so beautiful, so mysterious yet calming all at once. I turned to look back at him, my spirits lifted.

"It's all so beautiful, I've never seen anything like it!" I exclaimed.

His eyes softened to that expression he only showed to me. I couldn't say anything else, trapped by his gaze.

"Good. You were acting weird since we were at the amusement park," he took a step closer but no more.

I didn't say anything; I just turned my gaze to the ground. It started snowing again, a light, gentle snowfall.

"So what was it that made you so zoned out? Mind sharing?" he asked, taking another careful step toward me.

I felt my cheeks start to heat up even though the wind around us chilled us to the bone. White flakes gracefully fell around us and it seemed twice as cold because of my flared face. I looked up at the Syaoran, his face a bit red from the cold.

"W-well," I stuttered, it was embarrassing to mention what Touya told me and to imagine what he would say. "Touya was telling me before you came that it would be nice if we got together and that he wouldn't worry as much if I was with you. I guess it caught me off guard with Touya being the one to talk to me about dating and stuff. It just had me thinking and all… it was actually quite stupid." I gave a shaky laugh, trying to shake off the embarrassment.

All the while, I looked at the ground, scuffing my boots in the newly powdered snow. It was silent after and I felt uneasy under his gaze.

"What do you think?" was his sudden question which took me by surprise.

"What?" I asked in return, not quite understanding his question, or rather, not wanting to understand his question. I still refused to put our friendship in any risk.

My head lifted so I was staring at him. His expression had changed again to that unreadable facade. There was a new glint to his eyes. I've seen it once before, only that one time he confessed to me. Once again, it made me shiver. His eyes seemed to bore into my very being, my very mind. It was as if he was invading all my personal space and thoughts even though there was still at least half a meter of space between us physically.

"What do you think about us going out?" he clarified, his voice smooth and collected as if the question wasn't at all that big of a deal.

I tried to break eye contact with him but his eyes seemed to trap mine as if they were connected. He took a step towards me and I tried to take a step back but my legs weren't listening. I was shaking, my hands, knees, legs. Not from the cold but from the invisible pressure put deliberately on my shoulders. My palms started to become slick with sweat in my mittens. Even in the cold weather it felt like I was boiling. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, making further thoughts impossible. My face heated up even further, if possible, which made the frosty air around me even more noticeable.

"Uh…" was my intelligent answer as Syaoran took another step towards me.

"Yes?" he urged, a bit impatient compared to usual.

My mouth was moving I was sure it was. But there was nothing coming out. As he took another step towards me, my arms straightened out in from of me to settle on his chest to keep him arms length away. If he took even one step closer, I would either die from nervousness or melt into a puddle of human goop. He never broke eye contact with me and I didn't fail to notice a grin spread across his face.

"I…I," Well it was progress. That is until he started to lean in even though I was holding him arms length away.

As I saw his face come closer, my arms seemed to crumble. There was no strength in them to hold him back and he took the chance to take another step closer to me. I swear my face was passed the point of just red by now. My hands were still at his chest and I couldn't seem to move them. My mind went blank, my thoughts covered by a haze. I felt the back of his hand gently touch the side of my face. My cheek seemed to burn under his touch but I couldn't think too much of it. His other arm slowly wrapped around my waist, securing me in my spot which also prevented me from escaping.

"W-wha…" was all I could mutter when he leaned in closer, his face only a few inches from mine.

I wasn't used to being so aware of how close we were so in reflex, I shrank back. My whole body leaned backwards only to have his arm around my waist tighten to support the extra weight. He was too close for comfort, well at least to me. I tried turning my face to look the other way but his hand on my cheek prevented me from doing so.

"Would you like to go out with me?" His soft voice asked.

"Well…" I began before my throat locked. I swallowed to prevent my throat from going dry but it didn't seem to work. "Well, I…"

His face kept coming closer and closer as I tried to utter out a complete coherent sentence. With each centimeter his face closed in on mine, my logical and well organized thoughts left me a bundle at a time. When I could feel him literally breathing the same air as me, he stopped with his face just an inch from mine. I couldn't break eye contact with him anymore. His breath was light against my burning skin soothing me a little.

"Well?" he pressed his breath fanning my face causing my thoughts to run around in wild circles.

"Well… well…" I could hear my voice go softer and softer with each word. What would he say if I said yes? I know for a fact that I like him but what if he didn't have the same feelings anymore? That would just ruin our friendship wouldn't it? I gathered what little confidence was left in my body and sucked in a lungful of air before muttering my next word that would cause embarrassment for a life time. "Yeah," I squeaked, looking down at my feet.

There was no sound after. I wanted to look up but I didn't dare. What was he thinking? I waited for what seemed like a million years before I heard him start to talk.

"Look up," he instructed, his hand guiding my face to look at him.

I reluctantly did so, his gentle and relieved eyes surprising me. He didn't say anything after and I didn't need words to understand. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest now that I swear he could hear it. His face was closing in on mine. It seemed to happen in a second yet it also felt like a million years to me. All I could focus on were his alluring brown eyes which continued to hold my gaze. While I was staring at him for what seemed to be eternity, I felt slight pressure against my lips. I sucked in a breath of surprise and stiffened from the contact. What was I supposed to do now? It's not like I kissed anyone before. He didn't move, instead he gently stroked the side of my face telling me to relax. I tried to do so, though it was difficult. My insides felt like they melted from overheating and I was shaking non-stop. My hands clutched onto his jacket hoping that doing so would help me relax. I slowly exhaled, partially because I was going to suffocate and partially because it helped me relax a little. At the same time, he pulled back a little, a sigh escaping his lips. My whole body felt like it was shaking from my heart trying to escape. I was still shaking when he captured my gaze again. He smiled gently for me, his hand gently stroking the side of my face to calm me.

"Relax," he whispered.

I took the chance to take a deep breath. It indeed did help calm my shaking but my thoughts were still running wild. Even my breathing was shaky! He then pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his chest, still trying to control my breathing. I could feel his fingers run through my tangled hair, smoothing the knots and trying to calm me at the same time.

"So," he began after I was calm, "what's your brother going to say?"

I looked up to him, less shaky now. I smiled my brightest for him, "Finally."

Indeed. Finally.

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SO how was it?? Boring?? COnfusing??? BOTH?? id go with both XD haha but i hope you liked it! i came up with most of it on the spot and half of it was from a while back thats why half of it doesnt fit with the other half~! lol

Anyway! Remember! Kaleido Star fic is coming soon and its almost done! AND also tell me if you would like to have my story 'Music to My Ears' uploaded! i will do so if i get enough yeshs!

R&R!!! constructive criticism welcome but no flames!!!!

~lilangel


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